Becoming Jane

I've done a tad of cleaning of the holiday break (and I mean only a tad). I tend to be OCD when I clean, which I why I don't do it a lot. I obsess over insignificant items like the direction the teaspoons and tablespoons are placed in the drawer, the directions of books on the shelf (tallest to shortest), and alphabetizing my DVDs.

As I was sorting through the DVDs I discovered quite a large amount of DVDs never opened. Many of these I've seen before, some I haven't. So, I've decided to watch them all (even if I've seen them and write about them.

Tonight, I chose the first movie, a Netflix rental, "Becoming Jane." This movie is about the life of Jane Austen.

Jane Austen was a very modern woman for her times. She understood human nature and the heart in a way that wasn't necessarily socially acceptable. It was heartbreaking to watch the expectations Jane's family placed on her to marry in order ensure her family's financial success. During her era, this was common for women to marry in order to secure a comfortable life despite not being in love. There weren't employment options for women then as there are now. The only viable option for her was to marry. Amazingly, her father believed so deeply in her dream to "live by the pen" that he bought her expensive paper and a writing desk in order to encourage her gift.

Jane was a black sheep in her society. She wanted to depend on herself for her fortune and not on an arranged marriage. As I reflect on all this, my first thought was, "whoa, how times have changed." But as I thought further, I wondered, "Have they?"

Women do have so many more options today. And many are able to articulate their desire for a career  without disapproval from their family or society. Matter-of-fact, it is socially acceptable for women to create their own fortune. But there are many women who do marry with the idea of financial security in the back of their mind. They choose a husband that they do indeed love, but the package deal is a good job and perhaps a wealthy family. There are still jokes about women attending college in search of the "MRS degree." I don't want to go down the path of passing judgement on any of this, but I do have some thoughts.

So here's what I'm thinking: Life is as uncertain today as it was in the 1800s. Women can marry for financial security only to find their world ripped out from under them. I've witnessed women having their "secure" life changed by divorce or death of a spouse. These women no longer had the "luxury" of depending on a man for their financial means. They've had to live by their own "pen" in order to survive. These women had already developed skills or had an occupation they could rely on. I'm sure there are tragic stories of women not knowing how to survive when unfortunate circumstances befell them.

My thoughts aren't to say women should or shouldn't work, but rather, women should be strong and independent in order to survive life's curve balls. This isn't about being political, burning bras, women's lib, etc. It's about being able to care for oneself.

Women like Jane had to sacrifice a lot in order to make a very impossible decision. She turned down an offer of marriage that would have turned her families financial decison for the better. Matter-of-fact, she never married at all. How lucky us women are today that our decisions aren't so difficult. We do have so many choices. So, whatever you choose, ensure your choice doesn't leave you dependent and helpless.