Move On

I've never been on the Oprah Winfrey train. But I read a quote from her today that I quite like.

She said, "You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on."

I feel like we live in a culture that has given us permission to blame everyone but ourselves for the bad stuff in our life. Cincinnati, Ohio was just named the craziest city in the U.S. We have more psychiatrists per capita than any major metropolitan city. I'm grateful people seek help, don't get me wrong. MORE people should do it. But, I'd hate to be in the psychiatrist seat sometimes. Listening to people blame everyone else for their problems. I don't want to get all deep into this, because I'm a HUGE advocate for mental wellness and people do have real problems that have been caused at the hands of another.

I'm talking in much simpler terms. The kid who blames their parents for everything bad (you didn't buy me the best clothes and I was made fun of and now I have a shopping addiction that led to my enormous credit card debt).

Everyone has problems and skeletons in the closet. But at some point, don't you have to think, "Hey, this is my life. I'm gonna take control and move on."

Maybe you need to blame a lot of people before you get there. I think that's okay. There are steps to moving on. It doesn't just happen.

It's tempting to blame. Don't get me wrong. Man, if I could blame other people for not being as successful as I want to be, or for not having all of the finer things, then I'm off-the-hook. It's not my fault!!!

Well, I'm just sharing my experience. There really isn't anything in my life that I can 100% attribute to being someone elses fault. And you know what...that's liberating for me. I have a certain amount of control to make my life better or worse. And there are a lot of things I have NO control over that's going to make my life better or worse. And the latter fact I'm going to have to accept.

So here's what I'm thinking: Stop blaming people and move on with your life. Sure, we've all been dealt some bad cards and life's not fair. But are we so selfish that we want to be spared at the expense of someone else? Great! I wasn't laid-off from work...it was someone else. Thank God it wasn't my relative involved in the accident on the highway...it was someone else. Bad things happen, why should we be exempt? We won't be. And there's always going to be a reason (corrupt banking systems, tanking economy, a drunk driver) but do we hold onto those reasons and lose the rest of our life because we refuse to move on?

So, let go of shock that someone or something has wronged you. Dare to explore the life ahead of you...that unknown...the unfamiliar...the mystery of what lies ahead. And you may discover something so potentially magnificient and beautiful that is beyond what you currently can imagine if...you dare to move on!

More Life Lessons from CJ

1. If you go fishing you will get eaten by a minnow.

2. If you go to McDonald's, you will throw up on your husband.

3. If you wash your whole room with oxyclean, it will smell like a cows butt.

4. If you watch The Office, you will be an office person forever.