On the Past

If you could go back in time would you do some thing differently?

I think our immediate response is YES!

But think of you who you are right now. It is 100% because of who you have been in the past and all the experiences that shape you. I've been thinking a lot about the choices I've made, good and bad, and trying to measure up with where I thought I'd be right now. There's a mismatch. I thought by now I'd be practicing law for at least six years and would have been living/working  in Washington, D.C.

So, my life didn't play out that way. Instead, I'm less than 20 miles from where I grew up, working in a field that wasn't ever on my radar and raising a child (a wondeful, awesome child) that I thought I'd never have (kids were never part of the dream).

So what am I supposed to do with this life and is it too late to or foolish to look back and try to ressurrect some of those dreams? I think that the dreams we have when we're young give us hope and ambition, but these same dreams can haunt us when we're older and trade hope for disappointment, failure or the inability to see what we really have.

So, here's my life: I'm in my 30s, married for 11 years, have a beautiful, witty 6 year old son. I work for a non-profit that makes the difference in the lives of girls, but has also made a difference in mine. I have a great family. A home that I never thought I'd have. Two good cars. A pantry, refrigerator and freezer stocked with food. I have an education from my dream school. My credit cards are all paid. I have great friends who truly care about me. I believe in Jesus and the hope He brings.

So, why do I overlook all of these present blessings and cling back to the past? Why does anyone do this? It's out of discontentment. If we remain discontent with what we currently have, we'll never reach a moment of satisfaction. You'll tell yourself, "If only..."  But whatever that fill-in-the-blank wish is, you'll move onto something else to be unsatisfield or unfilled with.

So, here's what I'm thinking this morning: Don't forget your past, but also find what it is that brings you the most happiness now. And, if you're unhappy now and find yourself dwelling in the past, then fix something. If you are unhappy with the road you've chosen, then take a detour and get back on the path you were meant to be on. But whatever you do, don't be apathetic and do nothing. Sure, life is overwhelming, especially when you feel you've made the wrong decision. But wrong decisions only serve to mold you for another time in your life. They make you stronger and wiser!