Lessons from CJ

Tonight as we were driving to get dinner, my son starting spouting off life lessons he's learned. I pulled out my handy notepad and began to write these down verbatim. I don't think it would hurt if we lived by these. So, here are CJ's seven lessons followed by my commentary:

1. Never kick people in the nuts. I will argue that there may times this is necessary.
2. Never steal somebody's phone. At six years old, I don't know why this became a lesson for him. He does not have his own phone. But, still good advice.
3. Never, EVER, in your whole life (his words exactly) poke somebody's eye out. Again, I have no idea where he's learned this. I guess the playground can be brutal these days.
4. Never be a jerk. Well said, CJ...well said!
5. If you are jerk, hit yourself with a rock. WTF? Where does he come up with this stuff?
6. If you are a jerk, investigate your dad's car. He totally lost me here. He knows what this means but I have no freaking idea.
7. If you're hungry, never eat at Frisch's. This was news to me, but now I'm starting to wonder why I shouldn't eat there if I'm hungry. Is the service slow? Are the portions too small? Is the food not fulfilling?